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The rest we can figure out in the morning. By this time I was really scared but they didn't look to bad and I didn't see many other choices. Ok deal but you call the office first. pat picked up the phone and got the front desk told him he would be right down to pay cash got money from his Buddies and went to pay ,I excused my self to the bath room, I heard on of the call the front and request adult channels on the TV. as I stripped off the tee shirt and freshened up makeup and lipstick a nice red shade then thought to my self what was I doing they weren't hubby . I posed in the mirror for a bit them slipped the baby doll back on. heard the door and went out and say the 2 guys changing the channel on the porn movies.( what I didn't know was that the manager had 2 way mirrors and cameras filming me, and was broadcasting them too the rooms and that he had my wallet as it was turned into him and ) well the guys really like what the saw and had me on my knees sucking the right away I. Merely a guy looking for what i wanted. And finally being Man enough to go for it.We set a date at a local Alternative bar for friday. When i woke up that morning i already had butterflies... and thoughts swirling through my head."What if my buddies found out?" i thought , what if I'm gay?" was another ...the longer the day ran and the closer the time to meet the more freaked out i became.I actually walked 3 miles to the bar just to try to clear my head. I stood across the street staring into the parking lot Knowing i couldnt go in.Frustration and anxiety playing incredible tricks on my psyche.As i walked away from the bar after a few minutes , angry at myself...and more importantly disappointed. I decided to call her. "Hello ?" she answered."hey" Whats up Hun?" she inquired"Im freaking out baby" Why ?" Im scared and insecure. I'm a fucking retard. i cant do this tonight" ummmm oookaaaayyyy" she said with obvious confusion (i would like to think disappointment as well)i hung up the.
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